No Longer a Tourist

I am loving my time abroad. It is different, challenging, and enjoyable. I had dreams about coming abroad for a long time. And now I am here! Some of the ways I envisioned my time here have come true, others have not. I don't mean to say that my time has been bad - it has been better than I could have imagined - what I mean to say is that I am getting more settled in here.

When I imagined my time here I always pictured myself nicely dressed with the sun shining around me. I envisioned a mini vacation filled with new experiences instead of the comfort of home. I will admit that studying abroad is like a vacation in a way. But the great thing about studying abroad is that I am living here. I am not just embarking on a short trip to see a new place. I am actually participating in the culture and trying to live it for the next few months.

This is where my experience differs from a vacation. Life usually, at least for me, takes a pause during vacation. Life is free, unstructured, relaxed, and full of wonderful things. But when the vacation ends and life resumes, life takes on a little more structure. You begin to plan things and you begin to have more things that you have to do, like go to school for instance.

Now that I have been in Spain for close to a month my schedule of life has shifted from that of a tourist to that of an active participant. Instead of looking for the main attractions, I am looking for little pastelerias (bakeries). Instead of spending my entire day exploring, I am attending class and exploring in the meantime. I now have a routine - a loose one but still a routine nonetheless. I have things I need to do - like homework and helping clean up after dinner. I have places I like to visit and foods I like to eat.

Although my food and location choices may differ, it is not that different from life back in the States. People here have to carry on life just like we have to. They may go about it differently than we do in the United States but that is to be expected. I think that is the beauty of studying abroad. You get to stay in one place for long enough that you see how they live everyday life. It really is eye-opening.

What started me on this subject is that it is raining here today. In fact, it has been raining for a week straight with an exception of a little sun on Friday. For some reason I did not think it rained this much here. Back home this wouldn't be that big of a deal to get rain but here it becomes difficult. Where I am staying is largely a walking community. You walk everywhere and almost everything is in walking distance. If it isn't then you walk to the nearest bus station. But when it is raining out a conundrum is faced. If you go out you are going to get wet (an umbrella can only do so much). Even if you want to get to the closest mall you need to walk to the nearest bus stop, take the bus to a certain stop, and then walk from the stop to the mall. It is not bad when the sun is out but when it is raining you begin to rethink things. After my walk to and from Mass I realized why there were so few people on the streets. Even just a ten minute walk meant my clothes, shoes, and jacket were all wet (and I was walking with an umbrella). When I got back I decided to take my host family's idea and stay in for the day.
 

I am back! And with a story to boot

To all my readers, that is if I have any readers left, I am back! It has been so long since I posted that I would be surprised if anyone is still out there reading this blog. Nonetheless, I have decided to revive this blog and, hopefully, keep it updated regularly.

My last post was about praying for something that you really want. For me, one of those things is to go abroad. Even before I entered college I remember wanting to go abroad. But I didn't want to go to any place. I wanted to go to Spain. I didn't know how it was going to work, all I knew was that I had a deep desire to go to Spain for a semester.

So I started to plan. I looked ahead to see the classes I needed to graduate, I researched places to go, I saved money. I tried to do everything in my power to make sure that I could go to Spain. Four months before I was supposed to supposedly leave for Spain, things started to look iffy. There were doubts about whether I could live with a host family because I am severely allergic to tree nuts and peanuts. There were doubts that I would be able to find a program that would work with my major. And there were doubts that I would be able to graduate on time if I ended up studying abroad in Spain. People kept telling me that I might not be able to go abroad. After planning for three years to make sure I could go, I was upset to hear these things.

But I kept pressing forward. I met with the dean and the department heads and the study abroad advisor. If someone had any chance of helping me, I sought their help. And still, I was facing difficulties. Everything came to a point where I was starting to think that maybe I shouldn't go. That is when I said a very honest, simple prayer. I said "God, if you don't want me to go, if something bad will happen to me abroad, then block this opportunity." Within a few days, a miracle started to unfold before my eyes. Things began to work out. A program was found that would allow me to study abroad, my classes were approved which meant I would be able to graduate on time, and there would be a host family who would be willing to work with my nut allergy.

At this point it became even cleared to me that God hears my prayers and that he wanted me to go to Spain. If he has my back, who can be against me? It is really true. As I write this story, I am in Spain. God made everything work. And he continues to. It is really amazing. Every day I am amazed by how he planned everything. This trip has been better than I could have ever imagined thanks to him.

And the story continues to unfold before my eyes. There are adventures to be had and places to be seen for each one of us. Here is a glimpse into mine. :)

Isn't It Funny

Isn't it funny how you can grow closer to God when you really want something? Maybe I'm the only one who does this, though. When I really want something to work in my life I'll pray about it and pray about it. I'll they to do everything right that I can in order that God may approve my impending offer that is on the table. Sometimes it takes Him a while to review it an get back to me but no matter what, He always gets back to me. Sometimes His answer is not the one that I was looking for. But whatever the decision, It always turns out for the best. God is no fool, especially when it comes to His childrens lives. For now, I will wait and pray for I know that God's plan is the best plan for my life.

Blessings

Isn't it sad that it usually takes a tragedy - a sad moment - in order for us to stop and think? Here I am worrying about my finances and the impending homesickness that comes with leaving home when I receive a phone call that my friends dad just passed away. And bam, just like that I am snapped back in to reality - the reality of how blessed I am. I have a family, a roof over my head, food to eat, and clothes to wear. In that moment I prayed to God. Then I ran upstairs and gave the man in my life - my Dad - the biggest hug.

Life and Photography

"Life is like photography - we use negatives to develop"

Upon first reading this quote, I did not understand it. I was so confused. Then, upon several other readings, I finally began to grasp it. As corny as this saying may be, it really resonates with me. Just like any other person, I've made mistakes. I've gotten myself into situations that I wish I hadn't. I've been wounded but, with the help of God, I have also been healed. All the moments that I previously looked upon with pain, I now look upon with thanksgiving. That's not so say that I don't ever wince when I think of a particular painful memory, because I still do at times. The beauty of it is that I can see how all my experinces have just been a part of the journey. I am thankful for my journey because they have lead me to where I am today. It looks like my negatives have a large possibility of developing into a beautiful picture.

Thoughts That Spring From Silence

In the silence
My mind wanders
To the time you spoke to me
In French
And told me that I am beautiful
And the time you danced with me,
Reached for my hand
And rubbed my fingers with the softest touch
As if to show you cared –
Or so I thought.
 
But I didn’t hear from you.
Is this a test? I thought,
Maybe not,
Maybe you’re just busy.
I waited and waited but nothing ever came

But then I saw you and

We made small talk
You looked right at me
And I could see the playfulness that danced
Throughout the pure blue of your eyes
I smiled and giggled and said goodnight

Off I went, feeling so happy

Then you texted me in French
          “bonne nuit mon amie”

Your sweetness makes me smile

And your ability to speak to me in French
Melts my heart

But now I’m left alone
In silence
I haven’t heard from you in a while but
Somehow you have ended up on my mind
And I can’t help but remember
You holding me so delicately
Your hands on my hips
My hand in your hand

*Special thanks to our guest writer for this post :-)

Exciting news

Exciting news --the picture that my friend designed to "Frame My Future" was just chosen as one of the finalists in a contest that she entered. There were 10,500 people who entered the contest and she was chosen as one of the 24 finalists. I would love it if you guys could vote for her. There's one vote per email so please pass it on. Thank you!! :-)

P.S. You can vote here: http://www.diplomaframe.com/contests/frame-my-future-scholarship-contest-2012/details.aspx?entryID=38900

P.P.S Voting ends May 3rd

The Question of God

I have a question, do you know why during CCD and other religious formation events, such as retreats, people get flustered when they are asked to prove that God exists. I believe that He exists but have been puzzled by the realization that no one seems to have an answer. However, being at a Catholic college, this point has been brought up. It's come into question and we've been pushed to see new things and to question our beliefs. For me, this has been a good thing because it has made me believe more.

Today we looked at Aquinas' proof of God, earlier in the week we looked at Saint Anselm's proof of God and even earlier in the semester we looked at Descartes proof of God. I am fascinated by these proofs and, because of this, I have continued to research them. After class today, I looked further into these proofs. Upon doing so I went to the Catechism which stated that "The Church teaches that the one true God, our Creator and Lord, can be known with certainty from his works, by the natural light of human reason (cf. Vatican Council I, can. 2 § 1: DS 3026)" (Catechism 47). I found this interesting because it shows that we humans have been given the tools to prove that God exists. However, God is an immaterial being so he does not exist in space and, therefore, He is not tangible. For example, we know that 5 + 3 = 8. We know for certain that this concept exists and holds true but if we were to ask where in space this concept is physically located, we would not be able to give an answer. As a lover of numbers and a lover of faith, this is so fascinating to me.

It puzzles me, though, because I have been Catholic all my life, have attended CCD and other various religiously edifying events but I have never come across this until now. How, if many people question the existence of God, including religious education students, is this information not widely know? We as Catholics say we love our faith. Many would fight to the death for it. Yet, when non-believers and even questioning believers ask us if God exists, we start tripping over our words. In truth, God exists! However, sadly, many of us do not understand this. We believe that be we don't understand it. Believing without understanding is not fully believing. Sadly, this means, we are missing the full truth.

The Church believes that God exists and we believe that God exists. There are at least three proofs for the existence of God. The Church believes that human reason, exemplified in these proofs, can prove the existence of God. How come these bits of information are available but they don't often join together to create a full picture? The proofs are simple and easy to follow but no one, at least that I know, seems to know they exist. The idea and the belief of God is dying but we have all the proof in front of us. We need to use it. Think about it: if faith without works is dead then what happens to faith that is not speckled with bits of understanding?

Smile; It can make a difference.

People often ask me what I think of college. In a way it’s an old question but then again I never grow tired of telling others that I absolutely love college. However, no one ever seems to ask me why I love college. If they were to ask, I would respond with one simple answer: I love the college I attend because on any given day I can look around campus and see at least one person smiling. I know, it sounds crazy but it is true. Even during finals, the most stressful time of the year, I was able to find at least one person smiling.

If you believe me, you might be thinking to yourself, “well that’s nice but it isn’t practical”. However, I disagree. This is because I feel that being surrounded by happy people is beneficial. It is beneficial to me personally because it encourages me to be a happier person but it is also beneficial to every person of every major who attends my college. Don’t believe me? Well, think of this. Happiness is contagious. Because of this, happy people rub off on their boss and their employees. This creates a better environment at work and in turn it creates a better quality of life for the boss and for the employees.

That being said, it all goes back to the smile. At my college, I am challenged every day. Whether it is classes, homework, studying, running, or balancing the student-athlete role, I am being pushed and challenged. But when I get stressed, I know I can leave my dorm, walk out the door, talk a walk around campus, and bump into at least one person who has a big smile on their face. Even if I don’t know them, I can’t help but smile when I see them smiling.  

Personally experiencing the contagiousness of a smile has impacted me. I now realize that a smile can make a difference, especially if you’re a student, tutor, and aspiring teacher, as I am. Now I smile more. And if I can fulfill my duties as a college student with a smile on my face, I feel I have accomplished something. If I can smile while undertaking the current demands of my life, I feel that I can smile through the future demands of my life. A smiling student seems to do better than a content student just like a smiling teacher seems to accomplish more than a content teacher. Because of this, I smile. Most importantly, I smile with thanks to my college who has taught me that smiling is more than an action; it is an investment in the now and in the later. For this and many more reasons, I smile. After all, a smile is contagious. J

This scholarship is sponsored by CenturyLinkQuote.com.

Little Words

People often forget the little things in life. Yes, little moments are often overlooked but more often little words are overlooked. I'm not talking about words like a, and, the, rather I'm talking about little words that carry a potent punch. In this case, I am talking about little, kind words. Sometimes things like, good job, great work, and keep going, can really make a difference. I believe that saying words of encouragement to anyone of any age is utmost beneficial. It makes them believe in themselves, be proud, or even just smile. Even if the person receiving the kind words is so stunned by what is being said that they produce no reaction, at least you've demonstrated that they are special and worth your attention. With that, what's there to lose?

Thank You!

Dear Reader,

I want to take a moment to thank you for reading my blog. Every time I see a comment or hear someone mention my blog, I feel very happy. Most of what I write, no one but my teachers, professors, and I read. They're about topics such as depression or the 1950's or rebellion, etc. It may be interesting but not many people want to read about these topics on their lunch break. However, most people don't mind reading little stories from the internet during their free time. That is part of the reason why blogging is so wonderful. Blogging lets me be creative. It gives me the ability to be free with my words, to disregard prim and proper writing, and just be me. To know that someone wants to read my writing along with knowing that I am capable of writing more than just the standard essay, is empowering. Thank you for giving me this opportunity by reading my blog. Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Little Moments

My philosophy professor likes to argue. Sometimes he doesn't believe what he is arguing but argues in order to challenge his students. Recently, he argued that life isn't worth living. At first, his arguments were somewhat believable; however, after some thought, I began to think otherwise. In the middle of his lecture, I began to think about my life and the people I love. Upon doing so, my siblings popped into my head. In my mind I could hear my brother asking me when I would be home, I saw the text from my other brother saying "it's good to hear your voice :-)", and I could see the big smile on my sister's face as I arrived back home. These little moments show me time and time again that life is worth living. They prove to me that, in the midst of a chaotic world, there is something more. There is love, there is joy, and there is life in the little moments. Life is worth living.

Winter Wonderland

I might not be on a tropical island but when I see a beautiful sunset, I sure feel like I'm in paradise.

Keep Shining

You are beautiful. You are precious. There has never, ever been anyone like you in the history of the world. Once you die, there will never, ever be another you. You are important. You are special. You are loved. And in the words of Johnny Diaz, "There could never be a more beautiful you" I love you dear friend. Keep shining.

Right In Front Of Me

Like any person, I have struggled with my faith. Sometimes I make it too complicated for myself and then realize I need to chuck everything and start over. This past Sunday I was at that point. I was sitting in Mass realizing that I felt distant from Christ. With this line of thinking, my mind slowly drifted off during mass. Uh-oh. My self proclaimed fresh start seemed to be tripping over its own two feet. Realizing this, I continued to gaze around and look at my family, still not paying full attention to the Mass unfolding right in front of me. But when I looked over at my family, my little brother caught my eye. He had a huge smile on his face and the equivilant of two and a half weeks allowance in his hand. For a nine year old, that is a heck of a lot of money. I watched him for a second and saw that he had his money in his hand so that he could give it as a gift to the Church. When I realized this, of course the emotional me felt my eyes well up. It was as if I could feel God smiling down saying to me that my brother understood. It really is that simple. Be joyful, be humble, and most importantly, love God.

I Run To The Cross

Another day, another struggle. We all face them just some days are harder than others. Things get mucked up and sometimes you just don't know where to go or what to do. Thinking of this stuff can get me into a tizzy. What to do, what to do, I think to myself. And then I realize I don't have all the answers - not even close. In this moment you might say I should drop to my knees and start praying. This is a splendid idea; however, I've had to find another form of prayer to work through these tizzies. For me it is running. Now I know, I know, you're probably thinking -why the heck running, doesn't it hurt and cause more pain then good. In truth, it helps me. It is a physical and mental release. When I slip on my shoes and tie the laces tight, I know I am ready to go. I run. I run fast. I run slow. I run long. It doesn't matter as long as I am running. I drop all my problems along my route and leave them there. I know God will collect them and deal with them as He wishes. Whatever He wishes to do with them is better than anything I could ever plan. By the end of the run, I feel free again. I am at peace with myself and Jesus.

Speaking the Truth

My cousin recently posted this video on youtube and I love it because it is so true. It is entitled "Sexual Healing". Luckily, I have never been faced with the situation described in the video but at the same time, some of my close friends have had to deal with it. From seeing their experiences I know it is not a pleasant experience and I don't wish it on anyone. With that being said, I think it is awesome that this young man has stepped out of the norm and made an amazing statement through his writing. I sincerely hope you will watch it.

Still Here!

I am still alive! Sorry for not posting in a while, but I am back now so here I go. Recently I have removed myself from a toxic friendship. The end of the "friendship" brought me relief along with a learning experience. It has been a hard journey, filled with blessings. Last night the moment I had dreaded happened. I saw the family of this "friend". It may sound silly but I did NOT want this to happen but turns out God had other plans. Upon seeing them, my stomach dropped, my hands went cold, and my breathing quickened. I was having a mini panic attack. Yet, my panic was for nothing because they never actually saw me. I walked out of the store successfully shaken up and by the time I reached my car I was happy to close the door behind me and head home. When I turned the key and started driving away the radio played the lyrics "if our God is with us then what can stand against". At that moment I knew that God was by my side. I threw up my hand (one was on the steering wheel) in praise. In that moment my soul was at peace and I knew that God can heal any damage that humans do to us and turn our suffering into something beautiful. *Song lyrics from "Our God" by Chris Tomlin

A View From Above

The other night I hiked up to the third floor of the tallest and oldest building located on campus so I could finish some school work. Upon finishing a good chunk of my work I got a phone call from my family. I was so excited to hear from them that I was pacing up and down the hallways. Hearing about their days and what was going on back home made me feel connected with them. Eventually my legs became tired from all my pacing and I decided to wander about the classrooms and find one to sit in. After a little more pacing about I found one that I liked; it was dimly lit and had two large, deep windows which gave it a cozy feel. I walked in, keeping the lights off, and headed toward one of the windows and preceded to perch my butt on the ledge, pull my knees into my chest, and look around. I was so happy to be talking to my family and to be sitting on my newfound little spot that I didn't think the moment could get any better. But when I looked out the window, it did. From the third floor window I was able to see the city several miles away and all the city lights glowing in the night --it was beautiful. In that moment I felt as if everything and everyone in my life was at peace. God was with me on that window ledge thankful for the time we had together as we admired the beauty of the world He created. My previously restless heart was now at peace which made me realize that God has a great way of sneaking in and turning simple moments into wonderful ones whenever I least expect it.

Mail Time!

After my last post I received a letter in the mail from one of my favorite readers who just happens to be a beautiful young lady who I am proud to call my sister. This one letter made me so happy. It has been a blessing in my life and made me realize that there is so much more to life then the trivial spats that people have. Sometimes the simplest of words are the kindest of gestures. In this case they can change someone’s day around. In the letter I received, my dear reader expressed how she feels that judging people based on the expression of their faith is just terrible. She proceeded to tell me that she loves me and that she wanted me to have these pins (above) to remind me that I am loved, especially by her. Thank you lovely lady, you are very much loved by this girl. :)